The technocalyptic cybergeddon.

Opinions are like arseholes. And my arsehole is right. But you also have an arsehole. It smells like shit, and I don't care about it, but you keep the shit flowing. Why? I don't know. Because people care? No, they don't.

Politics is a massively divisive element of society. Everyone has an opinion about politics, even if they don't care about politics, because not caring about politics is an opinion in of itself. And unfortunately, people really like to talk to about their opinion of politics for some reason. "OMG, I DON'T EVEN CARE!". Yeah, okay, maybe not you. Our opinions can be informed, uniformed, biased, self-developed, or family driven. Look, I have a political leaning, I'm not gonna lie. I like to look at the flaws of one party under a microscope, and turn a blind eye to more questionable actions of the other party. But I don't think politics should come down to a, "I chose this party for life!" kind of thing, but choosing a party that CURRENTLY best represents your opinions and thoughts of the path in which your country should follow.   It just so happens that every time I have had the great honour of voting in a member of my electorate, it so happens I have chosen one party in particular. It speaks to me that weaknesses of the other party that they appear so inept. But I digress, that is not why I hear today, to beat my political chest. No, this is far removed from that. Instead, I come to do my usual rant, and complain about everything.

In my days, I have witnessed many an arguments over politics. I have witnessed the dissolution of friendships over something as silly, and personal, as political opinions. And for what? A dick measuring contest over politics? Please. Why do people feel the need to constantly tell other people about their political opinions? Those people who will constantly link you to VERY biased articles that support "their" argument, constantly shoving it down your throat. I don't very often bring up politics. It creates more tension than a person-less bag on a train. BAGS WITHOUT PEOPLE DON'T MAKE SENSE! So why does everyone else like to do this? I don't want to argue with people over freakin' politics, and hearing me mumble noncommittal responses surely can't be fun for you? Are people trying to create arguments? Have a hearty discussion about how right they about politics? "Convert" someone to their politics? What is it? Obviously, we live in a digital age. This enables a further platform for these political junkies to beat the dead horse of politics. Linking opinion articles that totally reflect the "right" opinion, all the while making outlandish statements like Politician X is the new Hitler, and we have to fight the system.



Fight the system, yo!

These articles only serve to stroke your ego. For some reason. You are not informing people of anything. They don't create discussion. The internet is now solely used for pornography, photos of cats, and people yelling at each other about things from behind a keyboard. By posting these articles, you are attracting two different kind of people: people who agree with you, and people who don't (duh?). The former are gonna high five you over how awesome that article is and totally represents the truth, and the latter are gonna bitch and call you an idiot about how wrong you are. Why are either of these outcomes desirable? And yes, I do realise the irony in bitching about people posting about opinion rants, as I write an opinion rant. But this blog is mainly for me to bitch about things that annoy me, and I don't care for healthy discussion on it. It is what it is, SO DAMN THE HYPOCRISY! I just think, if we are gonna truly discuss something, discuss it without the aid of some obviously biased article totally backing up your point. You can't whine about the media being unfair as you post links to it. For every article that you find that argues one point, is another article that totally argues the opposite point. Think about it, you dick. Reading these articles is fine, and hey, having discussions on the comments of said article is fine too. The people commenting there are there for a reason, not windows shopping on their Facebook and catching a glimpse of the opinions of others. So having said that, if people want to have a healthy discussion with me on this, comment below (hey, I did say damn the hypocrisy...).

Xoxo Kony Rubbott, Leader of Laboral

My day can beat up your day.

"Great minds discuss ideas; average minds discuss events; small minds discuss people." - Eleanor Roosevelt
"Really small minds discuss how their day was better than mine." - Rhys van Beurden

Corona's are garbage. I used to think it was all that and a bag of potato chips when I was first getting into beer drinking, but have since acquired other tastes. But as far as beers goes, it is a fine beer, and if someone offers me one, I will certainly take it. I don't, however, like Corona's ad campaigns, mainly their "From Where You'd Rather Be" campaigns. Why? Simply put, I don't like being told, unequivocally, that I desire to be somewhere I am not, when, in fact, I don't desire to be there at all. I'm perfectly fine where I am right now, in my cramped cave in my parent's basement. If I wanted to be somewhere else, I would go there. And I don't really want to go to Mexico full stop. It's never been on my radar. I mean, Mexicans are always trying to leave the place, and Corona are trying to convince me that I WANT to be there? Puh-lease.

Furthermore, why are all the ads set in the afternoon with a setting sun? Is the rest of the day really boring in those places? Because I am pretty sure the sun doesn't set ALL day in these places. It has to rise and stay risen, and set and stay set at some point too. The things people are doing in these videos is always really dull as well. Like sitting around doing nothing and looking at the sun isn't all that fun. I can do that here, except it doesn't cost me a lot of money to travel around the world to be in some place where I'll probably get shot. It just ain't worth it. Also, that would require me to go outside, and that notion is scary.

I didn't actually come here to talk exclusively about Corona though. My main grief is that people are using that template to brag about their own day. Taking a photo of yourself at the beach coupled with the tagline "My day is better than yours" is just a wankfest. I don't care about your day, any less than I care about going to the beach. Don't presume going to the beach automatically scales you above whatever I am doing anyway. Look, you may be having a fun day, and I may be having a shit day. But that doesn't mean I want to here you trumpeting on about your bloody tip top day on your social media account. To be perfectly frank, if it ain't happening to me, I don't care. And really, is being at the beach that bloody great? Because I can go to the beach if I so choose to, but I don't choose to. The beach bores me. And no matter how many times you convince yourself there is going to be a whole heap of beach babes in bikinis to ogle, it's usually mothers with their kids. No one wants to see that. Sorry mothers. Also kids I guess?

I honestly don't know when the phrase "My day is better than yours" or other iterations came into public usage, but it should piss off to that hole it came from. It feels as though it is another one of those terrible internet tags that came into public usage for no apparent reason other than to see how far people can push it before other people started kneecapping them over it. Do I even need to mention YOLO? Yet, I think believing that people are trolling is giving them too much credit, and that people use those terms in a genuine way. Which I just find sad.

Xoxo TED

No points for originality.

Ahhh, mothers. Perpetually retarded, ignorant and self important. Is there anything more annoying than a woman who thinks being a mother is a unique accomplishment? I get it, it's nice for you. You had a kid, something that may not ever happen again in your life, and if it does, it won't be very often. But for everyone else on the outside looking in (or just me, I don't know), don't care. Do not give a shit. I don't care about your kid's first smile, any less than I care about your kid's first time picking his nose. There have been 100 billion people ever to have lived on this planet, so yours is not special to me. If, for some bizarre reason, I actually do care about the first time your kid shit his nappy, I'll ask you about it. Because sometimes people do care. But one person is not every person.

Social media has really mucked up my latent inability to give a shit about other people because it constantly puts those people IN MY FACE. And I am not critical of that, because that is obviously the point of social media. But it also gives those people a platform to throw the things they think are important my way, and frankly, they are very rarely important to me. Scrap booking your kid's life is a noble and fine gesture, but it is should also a private one. I don't want to see a picture of your son's swollen testicles the moment after you gave birth to him because that is none of my business. I don't need a reminder of the fact that you are a mother over and over. I don't like condescending posts about how no one knows true hard work until you have been a mother, because I am pretty sure I am handicapped in that respect. I don't appreciate being told I will forever be incapable of understanding true hard work. Just because I can't do what ANY WOMAN CAN DO (not withstanding those woman who are incapable of having children, of which I do apologise to) doesn't mean I work any less hard than those woman with functioning reproductive organs. I work two jobs and I go to university, but because I don't wipe the boogers off've the nose of a kid I accidentally had means I am some lazy person. It's an unfair assessment. Who made you king judge over who works hard? Tell me, are you looking after your kids ALL THE TIME? Do they go to childcare? Are those childcare workers not hard workers because even though they look after YOUR kids, they are not THEIR kids? Give me a break.

And another thing. Don't refer to yourself in the third person as 'Mummy'. It's not cute. You aren't my mother so unless you taught your infant how to access Facebook, it also doesn't make sense. Mummy is tired you say? Point me in the direction of someone who isn't tired and I'll ask them their secret. Perhaps if you didn't send your kids to bed at 5 in the afternoon they wouldn't be up the next morning at 4, and you wouldn't find your own sleep pattern so royally screwed to the point where you are always tired. Being a parent is exhausting? Teach your kids to behave better and stop being uncontrollable shits so that you don't feel the need to follow them around everywhere to ensure they don't break something. Babies sleep, shit, cry or eat. Figure it out! You put them in a pram when you want to go somewhere, or you leave them in something to sleep in when you are at home. And speaking prams, why do you all feel the need to get THE BIGGEST PRAM EVER?! I'm serious. Your infant is tiny. You don't need a tank to push through a food court. There is not mortars going off in the background. You will survive with a much smaller pram taking up much less space.

I'm not a parent. Maybe I won't understand parents until I am one. But I don't like parents. I recently had a discussion with a good friend of mine who did just recently become a parent for the first time and we discussed this. He appreciated the fact that I hated hearing about people's children, but just said to him, it was different. It was his son. He did, however, concede that whilst everything his son did may seem important to him, others wouldn't care. And that's all I want people to know. Your baby is special. To you. Not to me. Probably not to 90% of the people you know. So don't spend all day telling me about them. I didn't care before, and I won't care after.

Xoxo Oink

2013 through my ears.

2013 was a great year for music. As you probably know, I get pretty passionate about music. I am not overly good at summarising my thoughts on music, as I feel as though it is a thing some people get, and other people don't get. However, I am always the first person to rail on someone else for having terrible taste in music, despite being greatly offended when someone does the same to me. But I don't even care! Hypocrisy bothers me not.This list is unequivocally the best music released this year. If you don't like the music contained therein, you are wrong. I don't want to hear arguments, it is what it is. So without further ado, I present to you...

10. Ra- Critical Mass

Ra have always been a fun band that just exuded melody all the while utilizing a strange mix of exotic sounds. They are the kind of band that I would describe as radio friendly, despite never achieving the kind of success they deserve. Critical Mass is a bubbly album, jumping around with an eclectic mix of different styles. It took me a little while to get into some of the tracks, due to these varying styles, but once I did, I can safely say that their new album (which I also helped to crowd fund) stands up to the quality to with which I am accustomed to from the band. They sound focused and tight, with Sahaj Ticotin using some amazingly soaring vocals, and also some darker, angrier tones. There are some incredibly poppy tunes such as ecstasy throughout, which I swear has a Katy Perry sample at the start, and then Through The Valley and Brutiful are much heavier, raring to go style tracks. Great stuff.
Songs to listen to: Ecstasy, Through the Valley

9. The Dillinger Escape Plan - One of Us Is the Killer

Has anyone ever seen Dillinger live? A perfect representation of the music they perform, their shows are batshit, and often involve blood, fire, and like jumping or something. The music is frenetic and in-your-face, aggro and steam rolling, and yet their latest album contains a much stronger melodic nature to it than previous releases. Look no further than the title track, which actually has some soft croons throughout. Vocalist Greg Puciato is willing to let the nature of the song direct his vocal style, and is willing to quieten down where necessary, only to explode moments later. It shows a stronger sense of control the band now exhibits, and I appreciate their music all the more for it.
Songs to listen to: One of Us Is the Killer, Crossburner

8. Cloudkicker - Subsume

I discovered Cloudkicker a few years back, after the great Devin Townsend mentioned his like for them, and haven't looked back. Written and performed by one man, Ben Sharp, in his own home, it is soft and wandering, progressive and expressive. I often find that vocal-less music gives me an opportunity to ponder my own thoughts as the music creeps on by, the haunting melodies of the tracks being my company. Despite being described as soft, Subsume returns to a less gentle variant of Sharp's music, similar to the first album of his I heard, Beacons, with less of the acoustic sections of some of his more recent work. It's hard to determine what are the best tracks, as there are only four long ones, and they just bleed into the next. It is the kind of album that must be listened to as a whole to be appreciated.

7. Trivium - Vengeance Falls

Anyone who knows me, knows I love Trivium. After enjoying In Waves, despite feeling it was a little bit of a step down of their magnum opus Shogun, I was let down even further with their new release Vengeance Falls. As a whole, the album feels simpler, and less harsh. The production is crisp and clean, and the vocals borderline pop at time. It wasn't what I loved about Trivium! I loved the anger in songs, the harsh vocals, and the interesting themes and metaphors of the lyrics, along with the intricately written music. Their last two albums seem to have been following a simpler path. Why is it still on my top ten albums list? Well, Trivium is still Trivium, despite their differences. I hold Trivium to such a high standard, my first impressions often fall short because of the sheer magnitude of what I was expecting. The songs are still good, just not as good as I want them to be. The Dave Draiman production does sound overly clean at times, but it is still a well produced album with many good tracks, that after my initial disappointment, grew on me. I like the album a lot more now than I did at first, so it definitively creeped up on my list.
Songs to listen to: Brave This Storm, Wake (The End is Nigh)

6. Hacride - Back To Where You've Never Been

I had never heard of Hacride before seeing the recommendation on my most frequented metal website, Metalsucks. With comparisons to fellow frogs Gojira, I figured I'd give their latest album, Back To Where You've Never Been, a listen, and boy was I not disappointed. This is progressive heavy metal at it's finest, with a crisp and powerful production, that avoids being too clean and digital. The members play music that is neither show off-ey nor simple, just interesting and well constructed. At eight songs long, it doesn't overstay it's welcome, and each song sounds necessary to the album as a whole. The intro to album opener Introversion just draws you in for the appropriate amount of time, before spitting you out with some thumping music, and the album just never lets up from there.
Songs to listen to: Introversion, Overcome

5. Mercenary - Through Our Darkest Days

Mercenary's second album after a colossal line-up shift, I was mildly cautious when approaching. Their previous album, Metamorphosis, was neither as well written as their older efforts, nor as well performed. Now full time vocalist, Rene Pedersen (after taking over a split vocal duty role), failed to make the position his own, and struggled with the more melodic singing aspects of the band. Not an issue this time around. Having improved his voice exponentially, he doesn't hold anything back, and the band now seems tighter and more focused than ever as a result of it. The catchy riffs and great vocals lead to many hooky, anthemic choruses, that almost having you fist-pumping along with the tunes. Each song is powerful and uplifting, and makes for a much better product.
Songs to listen to: A New Dawn, Through Our Darkest Days, Dreamstate Machine

4. Soilwork - The Living Infinite

This mammoth two-part album is some of Soilwork's best work to date. A big ol' slab of Gothenburg metal, this is the band's first album since Peter Wichers second exit from the band, but his absence is hardly noticed as the band continues their return to form after 2011's The Panic Broadcast. Starting off with the thrashing track Spectrum of Eternity, this album just does not let up, ripping through tracks such as The Momentary Bliss and Let The First Wave Rise, all the while never getting too far from the melodious moments I have come to enjoy from the band, with both parts of the title tracks being real stand outs. Bjorn "Speed" Strid's vocals are stronger than ever, and listeners need not to look any further than Parasite Blues to see how well the man can truly sing. No autotune here folks! After such an ambitious project, it will be interesting to see how the band intend to top it!
Songs to listen to: The Living Infinite I and II, Drowning With Silence

3. Leprous - Coal

This new album from Leprous was an amazingly perplexing album to listen to for the first time. On the back of their most recent album Bilateral, this album took a much different approach, instead preferring to go for a much more "severe" album, not in terms of music, but in terms of tone. The slower music coupled with some seriously gorgeous vocals creates such a dark sound to the music, with each song being so mellow and dreary. As a listener, I found this very hard to get into initially, but with each listen I was drawn closer and closer into the music. Each song just resonated with me so deeply, and credit must be given to the vocalist Einar Solberg, who seriously puts in one of the most amazing vocal performances I have heard in some time. Some seriously beautiful music.
Songs to listen to: The Valley, Echo

2. Tesseract - Altered State

Just as the above album, the true strength of Tesseract's second album is that of the vocals. Armed with third(!) vocalist Ashe O'Hara, the band has really released a poppier, yet just as heavy, album than that of their debut One, with the album itself being presented as one song, broken into four parts, broken into ten songs. Now, the idea of this being considered as one song seem a little strange to me, considering there is some very obvious pauses and ends to certain tracks, but who am I to argue? It is a very focused album, containing the djent style music that Tesseract helped pioneer, whilst also incorporating strong elements of progressive rock. The vocals weave in and out of the music as another instrument, with O'Hara having mastered the different tones of his voice and how to best implement them into the music itself. Hopefully he stays with the band, because he is by far their best vocalist thus far.
Song to listen to: Resist, Nocturne, Singularity

1. The Ocean - Pelagial

Here it is, the number one album of the year. After discovering The Ocean in between their double albums about Christianity, Heliocentric and Anthropocentic, I find them suitably interesting and also enjoyable to listen to. This was a thinking man's band, with incredibly well written lyrics that made you stop and think. Fast forward two years, and the band began teasing a new release. A little bit of history on the album: originally written and recorded as a single instrumental piece split into 11 parts, conceptualised as mirroring the journey from the ocean's surface to the deepest depths, the music gets continually darker with a more claustrophobic feel to it as it goes on. At the time, the band's vocalist Loic Rossetti had a disorder that prevented him from recording any vocals regardless, hence the decision to write an instrumental piece. However, after they finished recording the music, Loic recovered from his disorder, and the band decided to write lyrics and record vocals for the album after all. This lead to the album being released in two versions: the original instrumental one, and the newer vocalised one. Lyrically, Pelagial is a physiological journey into our own subconscious; following the plotline of the 1979 film Stalker. Main songwriter and band founder Robin Staps describes the topic as below:

In the movie, 3 men are travelling towards the heart of a zone at the center of which one’s wishes are said to come true. But the closer they get, the more insecure they become with regards to what they should actually wish for, and fear arises that even those wishes which they have no control over, which they may not even be aware of, might come true. The protagonists are confronted with their own nature, the true essence of their characters, and this essentially leads them to their own demise. This topic is the lyrical backbone of Pelagial.

An interesting concept to say the last that plays in beautifully with the theme of the music. Some songs are slow and trudging, but sometimes there are sudden temp changes and songs feature quick and unexpected sections, all the while with samples of underwater sounds mixed in between. Sometimes you hear riffs you heard 30 minutes earlier. It's just so well written and complete. I can not stress enough to everyone that they should check out this album, as it is the best release in years.
Songs to listen to: Into the Uncanny, Signals of Anxiety, Let Them Believe

Some honourable mentions include -
Chimaira - Crown of Phantoms
Dream Theater - Dream Theater
Ulcerate - Vermis
Protest the Hero - Volition
Nekrogoblikon - Power
Christian Alvestam - Self 2.0 (not technically an album, hence the miss)
Bruce Soord with Jonas Renske - Wisdom of Crowds
Stone Sour - House of Gold and Bones - Part 2
Hypocrisy - End of Disclosure
Katatonia - Uncrowned and Dethroned

xoxo Rhysy Rhys and Funky Beats

2013 through my eyes.

During the year of 2013, I watched a lot of movies. At the start of the year, my friend Stephen Rice challenged himself to see 100 films throughout the year, and being as I too liked going to the movies, I figured I'd tag along in this adventure. Over the year, I went to see old movies as well as new movies, so I decided fairly early on that only films currently in their first cinema release that I was seeing for the first time would count towards my 100-film goal. As my good friend Jai rates every film he sees out of 100 (check out his app https://itunes.apple.com/au/app/out-of-100/id583900625?mt=8), I too decided to do this. Check out my list below:

1. Jack Reacher - 81
2. Paranorman - 63
3. Gangster Squad - 80
4. Life of Pi - 73
5. This Is 40 -54
6. Hitchcock - 67
7. Django Unchained - 70
8. The Silver Linings Playbook - 74
9. The Impossible - 63
10. Flight - 52
11. Zero Dark Thirty - 79
12. Movie 43 - 12
13. Hansel and Gretal - 63
14. Lincoln - 70
15. The Sweeney - 66
16. The Last Stand - 69
17. Beautiful Creatures - 33
18. Back to the Future - 96
19. Side Effects - 62
20. I Give It A Year - 59
21. Oz the Great and Powerful - 74
22. The Incredible Burt Wonderstone - 61
23. Cloud Atlas - 67
24. 21 and Over - 76
25. Jack the Giant Slayer - 69
26. A Good Day To Die Hard - 39
27. Goddess - 62
28. Broken City - 64
29. GI. Joe: Retaliation - 39
30. The Host - 17
31. Identity Thief - 42
32. Ghostbusters - 87
33. Trance - 49
34. Jurassic Park 3D - 91
35. Scary Movie 5 - 23
36. Warm Bodies - 76
37. Olympus Has Fallen - 70
38. Oblivion - 78
39. The Avengers - 90
40. Iron Man 3 - 54
41. Star Trek - 80
42. Star Trek Into Darkness - 91
43. Evil Dead - 67
44. The Big Wedding - 51
45. The Hangover Part 3 - 42
46. The Call - 59
47. The Place Beyond the Pines - 20
48. Snitch - 62
49. Dead Man Down - 55
50. The Great Gatsby - 62
51. The Internship - 70
52. After Earth - 29
53. World War Z - 79
54. Monsters University - 66
55. Man of Steel - 71
56. Fast Six - 36
57. The Lone Ranger - 71
58. World War Z (Second Viewing)
59. Pacific Rim - 68
60. The Heat - 56
61. This Is The End - 80
62. The Conjuring - 80
63. The Wolverine - 76
64. The Way Way Back - 71
65. The World's End - 77
66. Now You See Me - 61
67. Pain and Gain - 63
68. We're the Millers - 56
69. Mud - 79
70. Kick-Ass 2 - 50
71. Mortal Instruments - 27
72. jOBS - 23
73. Elysium - 79
74. White House Down - 64
75. Paranoia - 63
76. RIPD - 65
77. Riddick - 61
78. Red 2 - 50
79. Percy Jackson - 51
80. Runner Runner - 49
81. Grown Ups 2 - 21
82. Pulp Fiction - 79
83. Gravity - 80
84. 2 Guns - 70
85. Rush - 83
86. Blue Jasmine - 63
87. The Family - 49
88. About Time - 75
89. Prisoners - 84
90. Machete Kills - 50
91. Captain Philips - 70
92. Thor: The Dark World - 77
93. The Butler - 69
94. Bad Grandpa - 59
95. Tailgate - 71
96. The Fifth Estate - 57
97. The Counselor - 22
98. Catching Fire - 70
99. Enough Said - 67
100. The Delivery Man - 69
101. Ender's Game - 68
102. Carrie - 59
103. The Spectacular Now - 57
104. American Hustle - 82
105. One Chance - 63
106. Closed Circuit - 77
107. Frozen - 72
108. The Hobbit - 70
109. Anchorman 2 - 78
110. Anchorman 2 (Second Viewing)

As you probably figured out, the shaded films are the ones that fell out of the official count, meaning I ended up on 102 brand new releases for the year. I would like to thank everyone who came to see a movie with me throughout the year (I somehow managed to not once see one movie by myself). I'd also like to thank the aforementioned Stephen, who went on this crazy journey with me, and Jai, who is the most passionate bloke when it comes to movies and really inspires me to watch my movies in a more critical manner. 

My top 5 of the year were:
Star Trek Into Darkness - 91
Prisoners - 84
Rush - 83
American Hustle - 82
Jack Reacher - 81

My bottom 5 of the year were:

Movie 43 - 12
The Host - 17
The Place Beyond the Pines - 20
Grown Ups 2 - 21
The Counselor - 22

I am keen to again embark on such an adventure in 2014, and obviously, anyone is welcome to come along for the ride!

Xoxo Marlon Brando's Eyes

The Black Clouds

It's the black clouds over your head ( I am the black clouds). It's the monsters under your bed (I am the monsters). As tragic as this might seem (I am the bad things), we can't escape the bad things. You know what that means? You know what that means! You can't escape me! You can't escape me!

I'm not the nicest person around. I'm not overly sympathetic, nor empathetic, nor complimentary. I don't value your opinions as high as mine, opinions of which I will speak often and loudly. I can be grumpy, I can be loud, yet I can also be quiet and reserved. I often speak my mind and I don't like to mince my words. But I like to think I am a genuine person. I don't want anyone to hold any illusions as to my personality. People should know where they stand with me, and I like to know where I stand with them. I do like to poke fun at people, but am never malicious. I am loyal, friendly, and often willing to hang out. I don't like being let down, so make a strong point of avoiding doing the same. 

Why am I telling you this? It has recently come to my attention that apparently a friend and I had a falling out. I say apparently because all of this happened unbeknownst to me. Sometimes life gets in the way, and I will freely admit that this person and I (for the sake of this story, I shall name them Stacey) hadn't spoken much over the past few weeks, but any such infrequent communications had often come across to me as civil and generally friendly, as they have often done. However, in the intervening weeks of our non-communique, Stacey seemed to have fostered a growing dislike and distrust of me based on what I can only assume as suspicions and skepticism. This apparent dislike was only brought to my attention from an outside source, who implied that Stacey wasn't exactly happy at me over repeated insults and other vague slights over a period of time. At that period in time, which was mid-November, we hadn't spoken for 3-4 weeks, but I hadn't thought much of it, as I had uni work to try and filter through, and as a result of it, I hadn't communicated with many people. So to be told by someone that a person I considered one of my best friends no longer considered me a friend in return, it was a bit of a rude awakening. Naturally, I was hesitant to believe this, as I couldn't imagine someone I had been friends with for such a long period of time would suddenly turn me into Public Enemy No. 1 over a few short weeks based on a few harmless jibes. 

Boy, was I wrong. Knowing Stacey would be at a party I was attending that night, I was curious to see how they would react to my presence when they arrived, only to have them not acknowledge it at all. Stacey refused to talk to me, stand near me, be in the same room as me. Feeling as though they had made their position clear, I made no attempts to communicate myself. Yet there was always a thought lingering in the back of my mind: What did I do?

As the weeks dragged on, Stacey continually refused to acknowledge me. Still seeking justification as to their actions, I have received a strange array of excuses: Stacey is just over this social group, they want some space; Stacey is mad that you don't invite them to any events; Stacey is on their period; Stacey says this has been a long time coming and you are the problem; Stacey says you hate them, and that is why they hate you. According to Stacey, the breakdown of this friendship is destined to cause our social group to split in two, one group "siding" with Stacey, and one group "siding" with me. Naturally, I don't want this to happen. It's not like we broke up. No one wants to lose half their friends because they lost one. Hell, I never even wanted to lose that one!  Yet Stacey seems oddly hellbent on tearing everything in two. A lot of the excuses don't add up. Having discussed it with other friends, they seem as perplexed as I am, yet I am told others agree with Stacey. So frankly, I don't know. I just want some genuine answers. Not the bullshit that I am being peddled. I want to know what I did that is enough to destroy a friendship. I have put up with bad things from friends before. One once sent a wild array of insulting messages about me to a girl they wanted to get with, only to have that girl forward them to me. I never received an apology over the messages, but I forgave them anyway, despite never forgetting. I won't forget Stacey's actions, but I am willing to forgive them. And hey, maybe Stacey too can learn to forgive me for whatever it is I did. Boys will be boys. 


Xoxo Stacey's Mum