Bangs bangs, I shot you down!

As Brick loves lamp, a women loves fringe. And as Brick's love for lamp makes absolutely no sense, a woman's love for fringe too makes no sense. Can someone seriously tell me what women see in them? They awkwardly frame their head, cover half their lovely faces, and just look... BAD! WHY ARE YOU SO BLUNT, FRINGE?!

Every girl must follow the same mistake at some point in their life. The whole, oh, maybe I'll try a new look and experiment and look quirky, and all the boys will love me, because they think Zooey Deschanel is hot, and she has a blunt fringe, right? NO! NO NO NO! Take it from the trendiest guy around, fringes are stupid and look bad. Yes, Zooey Deschanel is a mighty fine looking lady, and yes, she may indeed even look better with a fringe than she would without one. But you know what? You are not Zooey Deschanel. You are the other 99.99% of the female populace who is just going to inevitably ruin your whole look by trying to do something different. It's not even different. Everyone tries it! And you know what really grinds my gears? When girls say... "New hair!". You didn't get new hair! You didn't get a hair transplant or something. You just dyed your hair and cut it and made it shittier probably.

Listen, I have no issue if a girls want to experiment with their look somewhat. Try a new dye. Cut your hair shorter. I don't know. But a fringe is genuinely not the answer. I can honestly say no guy friend of mine with whom I have discussed women's fringes with (you'd be surprised at how often it comes up) has ever said they think it looks good. In fact, the very opposite. It's really a good male bonding session, is complaining about blunt fringes on girls. They don't "glam up" your currently boring hair. They are a temporary stall to you looking attractive. And they certainly don't draw focus to your other good features, but merely draw attention to HOLY SHIT YOUR HAIR LOOKS TERRIBLE. For example, look at the following clip from How I Met Your Mother's season five episode Double Date:



In the episode, main character Ted goes on a blind date with a girl seven years apart without realising it is the same girl till later. As you can see, she has different hairstyles in each year. Now tell me with a straight face she looks better in the first picture. So ridiculous. She looks like she is wearing a mop on her head.

In short, fringes need to die. Girls who get them make me sad. Especially when they think they look fantastic, and I think they looked better before they got them. I'm a selfish man, and expect everyone to do what I think is right. Don't get a fringe.

xoxo trendy guy