For those who are ugly, a lifetime of pain and suffering.

To call a tattoo art is like calling a rock a pet. If I rub my feces on a piece of paper, is that art? Maybe, depending on how silly you are. Why do I take such umbrage with tattoos being described as art? Because 95% of the tattoos that people are getting are absolute garbage. Yes, on a level of technicality, any drawing could be called art by anyone. So, like all my blog posts, this is just me saying "Hey, your opinion is wrong, and mine is right". You are on my blog, so I am allowed to say what I want! What's it with tattoos and young people these days, anyway? Is it some rite of passage to get a shitty tattoo? You may argue that I am some sort of tattoo hater, and take issue with tattoos on some level of principle. To that I say, wrong! I actually think tattoos can look incredibly cool with the right combination of design, positioning, and person. However, people are not making the right choices of tattoos!



You see this skin? This is my arm. That's a sexy arm. That arm deserves all the good things, and none of the bad things. Those bad things include shitty arse tattoos of birds and bees and fish and dolphins and potatoes and socks. Unless it's a red sock. Now, I am not a member of a tribe, nor do I find it ethnically correct for me to bother tattooing myself with a tribal tattoo. Is there anything sillier than a crusty white boy with nothing in between his ears who gets a tribal tattoo? Hey buddy, which tribe are you from? And no, Larry's Special School is not a tribe. It's a symbol of your own ignorance, and you should feel ashamed of yourself for being so stupid.

I'm sure not much needs to be said about tramp stamps, so I shall simply put this image here. I believe it sums things up well.



Another type of tattoo that really grinds my gears are those chest tattoos in like squiggly, loopy fonts that read crap like "Family", "Blood" or your family name or something such. Look, I suppose it is admirable that you want to honour your family and friends, but how about doing it in a manner that is a little more subtle, hmm? Is your family really that proud that your chest now looks like you've doodle your surname on it with a permanent marker? Debatable. Listen mate, pack up your silly tattoo design, get a family portrait, and hang it up on your wall instead. Much nicer way to make them feel loved. If you are a good son/brother/sister/daughter/mother/father/friend, they probably don't need to be reminded of it every time you take your shirt off. In fact, it may seem as though you are compensating for the very fact that you aren't a very good family member/friend. Nothing gets by me...



Finally, dainty little pathetic tattoos of stars and crap. Why? Why even bother? Come on.

xoxo sockgap