That above quote by the famous basketballer is a hoax. It does matter if you are black or white! For starters, it matters on your ability to pull off certain fashion trends. I aim these criticisms solely at the male populace, as I am sure I have whined enough about ladies for the past month to let them go for a week or two. You see, African Americans are cool. The following video proves that.
The problem is, every teenage white boy likes to think they are cool also. This results in an often hilarious mish-mash of white boys wearing fashion trends obviously designed for black males, that just do not work and fail on so many levels. Skin tones make a HUGE difference in one's ability to wear certain types of clothing and accessories. For starters, earrings. Specifically, diamond earrings. I understand they scream "Hey look at me, I'm classy and rich, because my earrings are made of diamond". Except when they don't. Do you expect me to believe some 18 year old dweeb can seriously afford genuine diamond earrings? No. Your cubic zirconia earrings just look silly. Let us compare the following two images. First, we have the badass Kevin Garnett, the now sadly former Boston Celtic forward/centre rocking the diamond earrings:
Next we have teenage pop sensation (?) Justin Bieber, trying his best to convince us he has a penis (and failing):
Try and tell me that Justin looks anywhere near as cool as Kevin, and then go wash your mouth out with soap. He looks ridiculous. All Usher's coddling of the boy may have convinced him he is indeed African American, but that does not make him black, but unfortunately DOES makes him look ridiculous. He looks like a typical cheap wannabe (I'm sure his earrings are genuine diamonds, mind) trying desperately to cling onto a fashion trend he can't pull off.
Another thing that white guys fail to pull off is white suits. It just doesn't look right. The double dip of white material on white skin just makes you look luminescent, whereas the great contrast of a white suit on black skin looks classy and stands out. Contrasting colours looks excellent. It's the same reason people get so maligned for wearing double denim. It looks stupid if everything is the same colour! A white guy just looks showy. No one likes a showy person. Compare the following examples:
and:
The first is basketballing legend Shaquille O'Neal. Need I say more? The second is of actor Matt Bomer. I like Matt Bomer. He is a ridiculously good looking man, and a decent actor. Yet donning the white suit? He looks like a member of Backstreet Boys. Compare that to the below image.
Ahh, much better. Looking classy Matt!
White men are also pretty bad rappers. Sure, Eminem was once on top of the rapping world. But it isn't 2003 anymore, and Eminem is no longer releasing top rap tunes like "Lose Yourself". Have you heard his stuff recently? That windowpane gag in "Love the Way You Lie" was absolutely cringe worthy. Instead we get ghastly "rappers" like 360 who blow chunks and embarrass the whole of Australia on a worldwide stage. Good job numbnuts. Australia takes enough humiliation from our cricket team without you adding to it!
Look, I'm not making a blanket statement that NO white guy ever managed to make these examples work. I'm just saying that the vast majority of them look and act ridiculous. There are more examples I can think of (hairline tracks, cornrows, pimping) that I won't go into, because I think you get my point.
Xoxo angry teen girl
P.S. Sorry to any person I may have offended with my Michael Jackson/Johnson/Jordan joke at the start. I thought it was funny that there are so many Michael J's!
P.P.S. Look at this other photo of Justin Bieber. Doesn't he look like your grandmother?
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