For those who are ugly, a lifetime of pain and suffering.

To call a tattoo art is like calling a rock a pet. If I rub my feces on a piece of paper, is that art? Maybe, depending on how silly you are. Why do I take such umbrage with tattoos being described as art? Because 95% of the tattoos that people are getting are absolute garbage. Yes, on a level of technicality, any drawing could be called art by anyone. So, like all my blog posts, this is just me saying "Hey, your opinion is wrong, and mine is right". You are on my blog, so I am allowed to say what I want! What's it with tattoos and young people these days, anyway? Is it some rite of passage to get a shitty tattoo? You may argue that I am some sort of tattoo hater, and take issue with tattoos on some level of principle. To that I say, wrong! I actually think tattoos can look incredibly cool with the right combination of design, positioning, and person. However, people are not making the right choices of tattoos!



You see this skin? This is my arm. That's a sexy arm. That arm deserves all the good things, and none of the bad things. Those bad things include shitty arse tattoos of birds and bees and fish and dolphins and potatoes and socks. Unless it's a red sock. Now, I am not a member of a tribe, nor do I find it ethnically correct for me to bother tattooing myself with a tribal tattoo. Is there anything sillier than a crusty white boy with nothing in between his ears who gets a tribal tattoo? Hey buddy, which tribe are you from? And no, Larry's Special School is not a tribe. It's a symbol of your own ignorance, and you should feel ashamed of yourself for being so stupid.

I'm sure not much needs to be said about tramp stamps, so I shall simply put this image here. I believe it sums things up well.



Another type of tattoo that really grinds my gears are those chest tattoos in like squiggly, loopy fonts that read crap like "Family", "Blood" or your family name or something such. Look, I suppose it is admirable that you want to honour your family and friends, but how about doing it in a manner that is a little more subtle, hmm? Is your family really that proud that your chest now looks like you've doodle your surname on it with a permanent marker? Debatable. Listen mate, pack up your silly tattoo design, get a family portrait, and hang it up on your wall instead. Much nicer way to make them feel loved. If you are a good son/brother/sister/daughter/mother/father/friend, they probably don't need to be reminded of it every time you take your shirt off. In fact, it may seem as though you are compensating for the very fact that you aren't a very good family member/friend. Nothing gets by me...



Finally, dainty little pathetic tattoos of stars and crap. Why? Why even bother? Come on.

xoxo sockgap

Bangs bangs, I shot you down!

As Brick loves lamp, a women loves fringe. And as Brick's love for lamp makes absolutely no sense, a woman's love for fringe too makes no sense. Can someone seriously tell me what women see in them? They awkwardly frame their head, cover half their lovely faces, and just look... BAD! WHY ARE YOU SO BLUNT, FRINGE?!

Every girl must follow the same mistake at some point in their life. The whole, oh, maybe I'll try a new look and experiment and look quirky, and all the boys will love me, because they think Zooey Deschanel is hot, and she has a blunt fringe, right? NO! NO NO NO! Take it from the trendiest guy around, fringes are stupid and look bad. Yes, Zooey Deschanel is a mighty fine looking lady, and yes, she may indeed even look better with a fringe than she would without one. But you know what? You are not Zooey Deschanel. You are the other 99.99% of the female populace who is just going to inevitably ruin your whole look by trying to do something different. It's not even different. Everyone tries it! And you know what really grinds my gears? When girls say... "New hair!". You didn't get new hair! You didn't get a hair transplant or something. You just dyed your hair and cut it and made it shittier probably.

Listen, I have no issue if a girls want to experiment with their look somewhat. Try a new dye. Cut your hair shorter. I don't know. But a fringe is genuinely not the answer. I can honestly say no guy friend of mine with whom I have discussed women's fringes with (you'd be surprised at how often it comes up) has ever said they think it looks good. In fact, the very opposite. It's really a good male bonding session, is complaining about blunt fringes on girls. They don't "glam up" your currently boring hair. They are a temporary stall to you looking attractive. And they certainly don't draw focus to your other good features, but merely draw attention to HOLY SHIT YOUR HAIR LOOKS TERRIBLE. For example, look at the following clip from How I Met Your Mother's season five episode Double Date:



In the episode, main character Ted goes on a blind date with a girl seven years apart without realising it is the same girl till later. As you can see, she has different hairstyles in each year. Now tell me with a straight face she looks better in the first picture. So ridiculous. She looks like she is wearing a mop on her head.

In short, fringes need to die. Girls who get them make me sad. Especially when they think they look fantastic, and I think they looked better before they got them. I'm a selfish man, and expect everyone to do what I think is right. Don't get a fringe.

xoxo trendy guy

Who is the madman?

I often see people who claim over Facebook that they intend to progressively delete friends from their list that they no longer are friends with, or no longer talk to, or whatever. More often than not, I fall into this very category of never talking to them because ain't nobody got time for dat. However... they never disappear. I am still friends with them. Alternatively, they will randomly announce that they have already done a friend clean up, and I should feel grateful because I "made the cut". To those people, I wish to express one thing: thank you. Clearly your actions are highlighting how great a person I am, for the very fact that despite us never talking, you still want to keep me around as a Facebook friend. Your actions have not gone unnoticed.

And to those people who do delete me off Facebook, screw you. I mean, don't you even know who I am? You don't get the pleasure or satisfaction of deleting me, simply because I am better than you. The act of deleting someone would imply that you think yourself above being friends with me, and that doesn't sit well with me. Why would I want someone on my friend's list who I don't like? Well I wouldn't, but it is up to me to decide when I want to terminate our Facebook friendship, not you. Because if I don't like you, simply put, you are clearly a dingbat who isn't worth my time in the first place, so don't pretend you are better than me. So if you ever get that feeling like you want to delete me, don't. If our association is to end, I will decide when and where. 

Thanks again to all those lovely people who are still my Facebook friends. You guys are awesome.

Xoxo angry head

Let Them Believe

I can feel
These circles will always touch in more than one point.
Repelled and pulled towards each other: repelled again.
Unconditional projection alternates with short,
Fervid intervals of perfection and boundless bonding.

But be sure: trust needs to be reevaluated
While our ageing promises turn to plights
And their weight and meaning changes.
Differing sizes of intersections:
Territories abandoned, lost and reclaimed.
Everything's in constant motion.

So let them live with the contradictions
Between what they call passion
And the constraints of our modern living
Which leave no space for the arational.

And most importantly,
Let them have confidence and peace.
Let them be powerless.
But most surprisingly,
They're not afraid of how they'll feel
When they come closer.

All these restrictions are self-inflicted:
Let them be helpless.
Let them embrace symbols of commitment
To compensate for the lack of it.

I can feel
These circles will always touch in more than one point.
Repelled and pulled towards each other: repelled again.
Regulations and restrictions determine how we live
And what we've got to give.

But be sure: trust needs to be reevaluated
While our ageing promises turn to plights.

Change is what scares us shitless.

Most importantly,
Let them have confidence and peace.
Let them be powerless.
But most surprisingly,
They're not afraid of how they'll feel
When they come closer.

Symbols of commitment to disguise the lack of it.
Let them believe.
Let them believe in themselves.
And let them live with their contradictions.
What they call passion is just the turmoil
Caused by repression of their ambitions.
Let them believe.


Hadopelagic II: Let Them Believe - The Ocean

I'd like to introduce a very talented young man, how about a nice round of applause...

Hey loyal follower!
As you are probably aware, I have friends! Approximately five or six. Anyway, a few of these friends have been making a movie recently by the name of Tailgate. Those friends have completed their film, and are currently financing a trip to take it to a major Hollywood distribution company. They would greatly appreciate any contribution you could make into making this trip a reality.
For all details, please go here: http://www.indiegogo.com/projects/tailgate


Furthermore, check out my other friends' zany podcast. Pretty much all I quoted for months.

http://dankarlszeitgeist.podbean.com/

xoxo damn you all

Damn it Jim, I'm a doctor, not a therapist.

NOW, on the border of the broken chasm, the infamy of man was stretched along.
Beholding as they descend, and the reign of man is FLEETING!
Enraptured in an illusion in which we all belong,
…And our purpose is acknowledgement of the void?!?
THEN VOID ON ME IN WAVEFORMS!!!


I just read a rant on tumblr written by a girl about how guys always screw girls over. That was a stupid rant, I'm not gonna talk about that. But what I am going to talk about, is how everyone screws everyone over. Because let us be honest. Girls get screwed over by boys, boys get screwed over by girls. It is just how it is. People are terrible. I'm terrible, you're terrible. We all need to admit it at some point. I have.

Being a generally terrible person is not gender exclusive, not matter how many broken hearted souls try to convince you otherwise. Of course a (heterosexual) girl will only have bad relationship experiences with boys! They are the only type of people with whom they are trying to get into relationships with! And the exact same can be said of (heterosexual) boys. I must admit, I am certainly guilty of trying to pin all emotional issues of the world squarely on the shoulders of women, but that would be unfair (but probably true). Simply put, people only look out for themselves, and because of that, we have a world of people screwing other people over to get what they determine to be the fullest life available to them.

I can honestly say I have never gone out of my way to intentionally screw with a girl (there is such little interest that I doubt such an issue will ever arise). I'm not sure if I have ever screwed over a girl unintentionally, but there is every chance that I may have. But I certainly have been screwed over by a girl. I'm not exactly sure of the thought processes of those girls (yes, multiple people), so I cannot fully determine what their intentions were, but man, some of them seemed real harsh, didn't they? Asking a girl out for a positive response, to them suddenly ignoring all attempts at communication and start going out with someone (in the period of maybe a fortnight) seemed like a bit of a shit head thing to do. I can't justify those actions in my head in any sort of scenario, but maybe she can? And that is where it all comes back to. All people need to do these mean actions is justification in their own minds that what they are doing is the right thing to do. So you've got people everywhere doing all the nastiest things in the world because they can justify these things to themselves.

Is there a remedy to all this? Probably not. I just think that there is always two sides to every story, and two sides to every relationship. Just as I don't try to go out of my way to screw someone over, I may still do so. I am content with my decisions and the things that I do. And just as someone else may not go out of their way to screw me over, they may still do so. It's their right to do so. I may not like it, but at the end of the day, who really cares about what I want?

Xoxo gossip troll

P.S. I can safely say that any girl who has given me any sort of false hope has moved on to far worse prospects, so I can feel some vague comfort in that they couldn't get anything better then this.

I have given you my soul; leave me my name!

I know I haven't written a post in a while, as I have been rather busy pretending that I am doing uni assignments, so for today, I though I would have a little fun with some Urban Dictionary quotes. I figured I would go along the entire list of potential definitions of the sexy pimp name Rhys, and give my thoughts on the various interpretations. As follows...

RHYS

1.also commonly known as sexii
He is the most amazing man. He is sexy, gorgeous, sweet, super mega ninja tard awesome. 

emo scene chic : id sure like to tap that rhys kid
annette: FUCKING DIE!

I find no reason to argue with that.

2. A name of Welsh descent, meaning "ardor" (ardour for the brits).

As a knight of the Silver Hand, Rhys lived and died up to his name.

Well, I am not entirely sure how accurate it is that I do indeed live up to such a meaning, but yep, that is what my name means!

3. the best friend anyone could ask for, a genuine stand up guy. he has the nicest personality anyone could ask for, hes sweet, and kind, would do anything for anyone, a true,loyal friend.

that rhys is sure enough a stand up guy, wat a gentleman!

Well it has often been argued that I am a bit of a jerk, but I would like to think in the right situation I am not an entirely terrible human being, so I appreciate this one.

4.Rhys is the greatest person you will ever meet. He may seem like an over the top pretty boy at first but once you know him well he's the nicest and caring boy you'd ever find. He's a great lover, and a sensitive guy when around his one special girl. He's not always the kindest, but a true friend and fantastic boyfriend. Girls would love to date Rhys, and they all chase after him but when he likes the one girl, he's loyal to her. He's a top mate and a good person in general. To know Rhys is like being besties with jesus, he's perfect, handsome, funny, athletic, hot, caring and wonderful to be around

Girl 1; Wow, I wish my boyfriend was Rhys!!

Girl 2; Lucky for me he is, and i'll never give him up

Well, once again, it is hard to argue with such a complimentary piece of work such as the above. I can guarantee you I am not the greatest person you will ever meet, but I'm okay. I'm definitively sensitive, you just don't know it yet. As for girls loving to date me, well they have a terrible way of showing it, because Rhys is single :( I do like the Jesus reference though. 

5. A act of pure stupidity

You just had a major rhys moment

Pretty accurate really.

6. An amazing and caring guy that would never hurt you but is always afraid he is going to. A gentle giant, sweet, loyal and always there when you need him. I love you so much, Rhys.

Girl 1: Who's that?

Girl 2: That's my Rhys

I am not sure what it means by gentle giant, for I am not a giant, but I'm gentle. Ladies? Anyone?

7. A gay faggot from westies that warm piss on his face and gay anal fisting while fingering his pisshole to gay hentai porn. guy 1: dude, i met this utter dickhead at westies yesterday guy 2: i bet his name was rhys am i correct? guy 1: wow, yes u are how did u know? I can assure you that I am not from westies, wherever that is, nor do I have warm piss on my face and whatever that end statement means. 8. A sexy and enthusiastic man, an object of man kind that sometimes manipulates woman to sleep with him whilst having oral sex and repeating the words.. god dammit when he cannot cum. Rhys implies, god dammit joe! When joe makes a stupid or inapropriate remark I am pretty terrible at that manipulating thing to be honest. Goddamn it. 9. a very drunk intoxicated person that has a long relationship with vodka An English alcoholic, usually by the name Rhys I'm not very fond of vodka to be perfectly honest. 10.The Act of peeing your pants while cradling your penis in your underwear while you chud rapidly in a public area. Guy 1:'brb, gotta take a dump' Guy 2:'but we're in the middle of town!' Guy 1:'cant hold it!' Guy 1:'aww shit man, pissed while i shat' Guy 2:'Nice Rhys' I can safely say that I am have never performed this act. 11. -The most difficult person to get in touch with but when you do, the messages always bring a smile to your face. -Is great with the girls, always has someone else with him, goes for the pretty ones, so it's nice to know he is yours :P -This is also bad because he is a MAJOR flirt. -Gives the most amazing kisses and cuddles. -Makes you feel very special. -Although he can upset you A LOT and very easily, he can make you feel so loved that you get the warm fuzzies. -Really funny :P -SOO fun to play wrestle ;D Rhys: Texts at night: "I wanna cuddle you and have you fall asleep in my arms, warm and happy. I love you :)" I am actually really easy to get a hold of actually. You've got my mobile number to call or text, Facebook to chat, write on my wall, write to me on this here blog, or you can find me at Carindale Crepe Cafe, QUT Garden's Point, or simply lying in my bed, probably napping. Trust me, easy to get a hold of. I'll even send you cute messages if you try. 12. the best person in the world and loves his amazing girlfriend katie love is in rhys' heart I don't have a girlfriend named katie unfortunately. I find it odd her name is not capitalised either. 13. A surname of Welsh origin that means "Dragon", "fervor", "passion", "ultimate strength", "king" or "zeal". Over time, the name has evolved from a mark of respect and stature, to that of an insult. Nowadays, people with the name 'Rhys' will usually fit in to one, or many of the below categories: 1) Someone suffering from delusions of grandeur, but in reality is an epically shit person. 2) An absolute joke of a human being (and not a funny-ha-ha joke). 3) Perceived by others to have slight (raging) homosexual tendencies. Person 1: "That guy Rhys.. he's your mate!" Person 2: "Definitely your mate!" Rhys: "I'm everyone's mate because I'm awesome!" Person 1: "You're a joke" Person 2: "Absolute joke." I have already referenced the meaning of my name earlier, but I would hope not to be considered an epically shit person, but I guess that is up to whoever is passing judgement. I try not to be an epically shit person though, so there is that. I am pretty sure the joke is meant to be ha-ha, because I am hilarious! 14. A move done by someone who jumps down the stairs and hits their head off of the ceiling "Ouch man, Mark just pulled a Rhys!" "When I was drunk last night, I did a total Rhys" Unlike the last described "Rhys act", I am pretty sure I have done this one before... 15. Someone that looks alot like an ogre. Man that guy looks like shrek! I bet his name is rhys ;o Guilty. 16. when you laugh while eating and it comes out your nose (specifically ice cream) ahhh, dude i just did a rhys and now my face is sore!! Something I do quite often to get girls. Now that I think about it, maybe that is why I am single... 17. A lying man-whore who will lead you on then pretend he doesn't care about you but by this time, you are completely in love with him and he makes you feel like crap by ignoring you and insulting you. g1) oh i'm totally in love with you rhys) go die, do us all a favour and jump off the towerblock. g1) cries when she gets home not good - don't fall for him :( I try not to lead girls on, for I find it unforgivable to do something to a person that I myself would hate to have happen to me. So anybody who I may have done this to, I am sorry, and I hope you have managed to move on with your life without further pain. 18.A person who tends to earn a lot of money and not put in for anything even food, though they dont mind eating yours. They spend all there money on the partner to hide there true sexuality and fantisy for cross dressers. wow that rhys just got up and left the table with out paying any money to his meal. Bullshit. Crepe wage is low. I have no money. 19. noun; 1)Someone who is a genuine dickhead and wont have much to look forward to in the future. 2) a person whose past use of marajuana would seem to be the catalyst for slow speech and an absence of regular human level conversation. 3) a person who is utterly obsesive with their looks and reckons that they are a living god/Jesus. see also- Dictionary dud |dəd| informal noun 1 a thing that fails to work properly or is otherwise unsatisfactory or worthless : a high-grade collection, not a dud in the lot | | all three bombs were duds.  1)"dude that guy is such a rhys". 2)"yeh, he always thinks he's the shit". 1)"dude here he comes!".. and hes shaping his hair and... oh shit hes unbuttoning his V-neck. RHYS) heyyyyyyy you, whats crackin braaaazzasazzz , you doinnnn much in de holzz? 1. I am trying to secure myself a decent future at the moment, so I guess not all hope is lost. 2. My body is my temple, so I ingest no bad substances. Except coke. The soft drink kind. 3. Well, I don't mean to brag or anything... 20. Ignore the last four definition's Rhys is a person, A normal human being who's concept on life goes far beyond that of a normal person. Personaly Rhys is God to most and isn't that little prissy boy and his enemies who can't spell for shit. Grammar rules, and prepy grudge holding whores suck. Owned~ Rhys went out to the store today and bought some gummy worms, he was not assaulted by hundreds of women like previously stated, also he doesn't drive a Jaguar either, so shut the hell up about the Jaguar. Rhys = Ishbar I don't know what the last four definitions were, but I am actually pretty grounded, and my concept of life is generally to find myself amusement. I'm like a cat with a ball of wool. My enemies are pretty bad spellers though, and grammar does indeed rule. 21. One who like totally PWNs up and stuff right, and liek he totally just like pwns people like tim and like mark at cs and stuff right, like they are dancing round and stuff and liek rhys just get the headshots cause rhys is l33t as and stuff right, and liek on C&C liek my jarmen just goes in and liek totally pwns up their stuff. Tim: oh man i dont beleve how totally pwned i just got by the rhys Troy: that rhys is way to good and has way to powerfully micro for the likes of me Mark: i may be a trained n00b but the rhys still pwns me up Counter Strike is for dorks. Do I look like a dork? Also, as the previous number wrote, grammar rules, and you fail at it. 22. a)past marijuana usage b)talks about all his made up sex stories c)still a virgin d)confused about sexuality e)one of his best friends has a needle dick f)only strong enough to beat up a dead baby g)tries to go after other peoples girls cause he cant find his own h)generally hangs out with young boys i)likes a man in speedo j)has a penis pipe k)reciever of anything l)13 on ASVAB m)sucks at pool n)will occassionally insert random objects into buttocks o)future bum girl 1: damn look at that guy!! girl 2:oh ya damn hes a hotty... but whos that weirdo standin next to him?? girl 1: im not sure but hes uuuuggglllyyyyy!! girl 2: ya i know and he wont stop buggin those poor girls girl 1: he looks like hes a real "Rhys"! This is just an odd list of things that I have no real opinion of, soooo... 23. Rhys is a ginger boy who attends Ysgol Gyfun Bro Morgannwg. He is very flirty and is quite well off. His father drives a jaguar so people think that he is rich! Mr Dilwyn Owen Is His I.T teacher and Bela Is Fat Rhys you Rich Ginger Fing I ain't ginger, I don't go to Ysgollum Gyfunky Morganworgan, I suck at flirting, and I am about as well off as that family who live in boxes. My father drives a Mazda, and I guess Bela is fat? Well that folks is all we have time for today. People have some odd definitions of Rhys. Do you have a definition of Rhys? Maybe even me in particular? Comment! Thanks for reading.